Night of the Long Bullshit

With Madiba in hospital and the world press waiting to see what happens next, we are sure that the same old crap has been going around on email again.


We also reckon that the guys at Stormfront are having a field day, if it wasn't that they were out shopping for candles and canned food.

But to get back to the title of this post, The Night of the Long Knives, or operation Hummingbird as it is also known, already took place under Nazi rule in Germany in the 1930's, so even the name is a rehash. If you prefer the other term, Uhuru, it is either a reggae band from Jamaica or the Swahili word for freedom.

You must have received the email at least once, telling the story about how the Swart Gevaar! are waiting for Madiba to pass away before rising up and slaughtering all the white people, woman and children included.

But what about other race groups and foreigners? If you skim the news there has been more violence against people from other African countries than other Race Groups, no matter what the Freedom Front (there's that word again) wants you to believe about farm murders. Will there be special attention or special dispensation? What if you don't want to join, do you also get murdered then and another embassy have to get involved?

Now, have you seen your gardener, domestic or factory worker skulking around with a panga or AK47 today? Just watch out tomorrow, and the next, and the next and so on, until Madiba gets out of hospital.

Because the moment he does not and gets driven away in a hearse, the Swart Gevaar! will come. (Unless they have to quickly pop home to go and fetch the panga because it started getting ridiculous carrying it around. And they will probably ask you for extra taxi fare as there is no way that any taxi driver will allow free rides, no matter the purpose.)

Pathetic as it may sound, some people believe it, but let's consider for a bit.

At this point Mandela is a trending topic on Twitter, the CNN regularly switches over to Milpark hospital, Google is awash and the whole world is watching. Then if he should pass away, we will have a state funeral with more coverage than when Princess Diana died.

With that kind of exposure, what will be the result if the Swart Gevaar! does rise up and kill all the white people?

Foreign Investment will go down the drain, who will want to invest when your CEO gets killed when he sets foot at the office? The JSE will crash bigger than 1929 as all of a sudden in one day or week there are no more leaders in the big international listed companies.

The Rand is also the most actively traded emerging market currency in the world, what would happen if it were to drop to R50 or R100 to the dollar?

Sure, the events in Rwanda can be taken as an example, but the death toll is estimated at 800 000 over a period of three months and it did not happen at a time when the whole world was watching, neither did they have a World Cup in the last year with an estimated 860 000 tourist entering the country every month. The figures speak for themselves, and then the white race in South Africa are around 4.6 Million.

So do you really think that the logistics are possible with a government that can't even fix potholes but have to rely on an insurance company to do so? When the Major of Johannesburg tells everyone that there is no billing crisis when 8% of all invoices sent are queried? When it takes months before a real crisis with acid mine drainage that threatens a World Heritage Site is still awaiting the final report?

And then we have one last question: Why kill and murder off your tax paying residents that ensures your Breitling watch gets you to the exclusive Sandton restaurant on time in your luxury car to feast on Cristal and oysters at their expense?

Isn't it so much easier to just fleece them every month and raise the petrol price and other taxes every so often?

Playing with Numbers

More blacks live in homes which are fully paid for than any other race group, the SA Institute of Race Relations said on Monday. (Now before the Ghost of Terblanche gets all in a knot and Pieter Mulder calls up Mr. Constand, read on a bit.)

The study conducted by the SAIRR found some 60 percent of black households in the country had fully paid-up the homes in which they lived in 2009, compared to 46 percent for other race groups. (Can we be more specific here? 46% average across or for all other Race groups?)

The institute said the higher home ownership figures for blacks could be explained by the transfer of government-subsidised houses. (Thus only fully paid for in theory...)

In the country's two most affluent provinces, Gauteng and the Western Cape, 34 and 42 percent of households respectively had fully paid off their homes.

The less wealthy Eastern Cape and Limpopo had higher home ownership figures, with 71 percent of households in both provinces having paid off their homes.

"The total number of households that owned and had fully paid off their homes, out of a total of 13.8 million South African households, was just over 56 percent. Out of the total fully paid homes, male-headed households made up 56 percent and female 44 percent." Seventy percent of all households headed by women had fully paid off their homes, while only half the households headed by men had fully paid up theirs. - Sapa

If you are fully confused about the numbers now, allow us to make it worse.

The author states in the first sentence that "more blacks...than any other race group" but the rest of the figures do not reflect this except for the blanket statement of 46%.

The next question we have then is the breakdown of the 46% and how it is made up. Can we not use the standard of 'per 100 000'? Then you can really compare, as it will be shack with shacks.

And speaking of which, what counts as a home? Does the 60% include shacks and are they thus fully paid up? We can only hope not.

With around 50 million people in SA of which 79.4% are black, that gives us 10.96 million black households with 1 732 604 still living in shacks according to the same SAIRR.

Now the 2001 census data reflects the following:

The percentage of Black African households that have a flush or chemical toilet is 41.9%. Refuse is removed from 45.3% of Black African households by the municipality at least once a week, and 11.0% have no rubbish disposal. Some 17.9% of Black Africans have running water inside their dwelling, 51.7% have running water on their property, and 80.2% have access to running water. The percentage of Black African households using electricity for cooking is 39.3%, for heating, 37.2%, and for lighting, 62.0%. - wikipedia

60% have houses that are paid, but not all of them have a flush toilet, refuse removal, nor running water or electricity. So what is actually the good news?

Very pretty piece of writing, but it does not address all the issues.

Just a quick gloss over some facts that attempt to make the government look good and ourselves content, but without proper in-depth analysis of anything else that is important.

We can move into a tent and thus count as a household with a fully paid home, but would that really be acceptable?

Gold to go?

ATM bombing threats and fraud are not likely to hinder the first GOLD TO GO ATM opening up in SA, with German developer Thomas Geissler saying on Tuesday that the first one in SA should open at Cape Town's V&A Waterfront this year.

Without elaborating on the security technology underpinning the concept, Geissler, from Geissler C-B-T, says: “Our security concept is very well done, so we are pretty sure that GOLD To GO will come this year to the Waterfront in Cape Town.” - iol

Huh?

We like the idea of going to a vending machine basically and walking away with a bit of the yellow stuff, but really?

Whether they will get bombed to hell or if the crooks will wait around and rob people afterwards we will have to wait and see.

Can you imagine though that you could go to the V&A for an evening out and stopping for a quick cup of coffee, some muffins and bit o gold?

Somewhere between freaky and cool.

A Virtual Fuckfest

Consider the irony...You decide to finally join Facebook because you feel left out. Then you suddenly get all these new friends, some of them from school.

The next step is to look up the hot girl from math class that you never stood a chance with, maybe she is married or divorced, else still single and you are in luck. You friend her and then you don't know what to do anymore, exhausted all your options, you play around with messages and wall posts until you get bored.

Until one day you get the light bulb idea, let's Poke her!

Seriously, now you have entered the territory of virtual sex without having to mess around in chat rooms and looking for Hottie18 or Stan24.

With over 600 million users, if only a quarter of them Pokes one person per day, that is still 150 million Pokes a day.

According to the Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behaviour, there are only 120 million instances per day of people doing it for real.

So definitely more cyber Poking going on then, but it does not stop there.

To help you along, they even offer a Poke fan page and there is an offical Poke Day...

So get in there and become a fan of Poke! Or you can even Poke yourself.

Just so long as it does not get any worse.

Pornography is Catholic

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Oooohhh...my scar is nicer...

A third of children have admitted faking a serious disorder to emulate celebrities, according to a survey. Phantom illnesses include eating disorders and depression.
The youngsters claim they have been influenced by celebrities who speak openly about their problems - such as Kerry Katona, 30, who suffers from bipolar disorder.
The study, for online therapy service Mentaline.com, questioned 1,192 British youngsters aged 12 to 17.
It found one in ten thought mental illnesses were “trendy” with half of those believing it made people “unique”. Some 16 per cent said celebrity sufferers had made mental conditions “fashionable”.
The top five faked problems were: Eating disorders (22 percent); self harming (17 percent); addiction (13 percent); depression (12 percent); bipolar disorder (nine percent). - Daily Mail

What the Fuck?

Hasn't it been bad enough with the Emo assholes thinking that everything is bad and they better attempt suicide for attention?

No you just cut yourselve to be cool or fit in, to sport the latest scar tissue or coolest blood spatter design on your wall or floor.

I can imagine that pretty soon there will be special stencil sets available from the local stationary or hardware shop, so that you can also get different designs. If it catches on, pretty soon you can get the specialised equipment from your local art supply distributor. Imagine if it becomes the next big trendy art medium?

But in that case I would like to commission 50 or so people for the first Interactive Blood and Razor Show. Six hours of Guts and Gore!

I you can sit through the whole performance you will receive your own complimentary knife, and a small souvenir vial of blood.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go and throw up my lunch onto a piece of canvas for the follow up performance.

Dope, Dope, Dopamine

"Whether it's the Beatles or Beethoven, people like music for the same reason they like eating or having sex: It makes the brain release a chemical that gives pleasure, a new study says.

The brain substance is involved both in anticipating a particularly thrilling musical moment and in feeling the rush from it, researchers found.

While dopamine normally helps us feel the pleasure of eating or having sex, it also helps produce euphoria from illegal drugs. It's active in particular circuits of the brain.


The tie to dopamine helps explain why music is so widely popular across cultures, Robert Zatorre and Valorie Salimpoor of McGill University in Montreal write in an article posted online Sunday by the journal Nature Neuroscience. " - iol.co.za

Wouldn't the ultimate party drug then be a synthesis of Dopamine? Imagine popping a pill that gives you the rush and pleasure of drugs, sex and good music all at the same time.

And I suppose you could heighten the effect by listening to your favourite band while having sex covered in Cocaine.

That would be my kind of dream!