Studio Bob
Welcome to tonight's edition of Inside the Lens on BBC 4, as always we are interviewing people to see their viewpoints on the hot topics. Tonight is no different and we are taking a look at the ongoing conflict in the Middle East.
The first country we are visiting is Australia.
Interviewer
Thank you Bob, I am standing here in Brisbane with Steve, who does crocodile farming. Steve, what are your viewpoints on the ongoing conflict in the Gaza Strip?
Steve
Well, I would say that it is pretty hot up there, what with the desert and all.
Interviewer
And the conflict between Hamas and Israel?
Steve
Not so sure about that, but if it is anything like here, things can get pretty het up when it comes to grazing rights. Didn't know they had sheep, thought it was just salt lakes and sand?
Interviewer
Indeed.
Studio Bob
Not much of a viewpoint I am afraid, for a different perspective we are crossing live to America.
Interviewer
Thank you, unfortunately I have been unable to find a someone to interview, they seem to be under the influence.
Studio Bob
How is that?
Interviewer
They are acting erratic and to be honest, rather odd. Whenever we point a camera they scream 'woohoo' and disrobe.
(Woohooohoooo!)
Studio Bob
Not a single person?
Interviewer
I am a bit disconcerted, we are on a university campus, I was looking for a young voice, but so far no luck.
(Woohooohoooo!)
Switch off, switch off!
Studio Bob
When you say disrobe..?
Interviewer
I am standing with my back to the wall now to protect the broadcasting code, the ladies seems to think we are from a different kind of show, where they get money for 'flashing the tatas' as they put it.
Studio Bob
Thank you, er, lets switch to South Africa.
Interviewer
Thank you Bob, I am standing here in Cape Town on the docks and are talking to Gatiep, who runs a small fish and chip shop.
Gatiep
Is it on? Am I on Camera?
Interviewer
Yes, what are your views on the ongoing Gaza conflict?
Gatiep
Gamsa? Is he in trouble again?
Interviewer
The Gaza-Israel conflict, in the Middle East.
Gatiep
Jissus! But dey can travel! Djy see, ever since Gamsa and Israel were little boys dey was mos friends, right? But then Gamsa got mos pissed and got too loose with Israel's cherry, so then they started this thing, what you call it, sounds like feet?
Interviewer
A feud?
Gatiep
That's it, so they been going since forever, maybe standard nine. Of course when Israel then married Gamsa's sister it got worse, cause he did it out of spite, but now they got mos a kid so he is feeding two mouths.
Interviewer
I am not so sure I follow..
Gatiep
Ny man, he must work hard, but he is mos from a poor family, so he works on the same boat as Gamsa for Gamsa's dad and dey try to kill each other all the time. But then Gamsa's sis gets mad at him and den he must apologise to Israel and Israel is in the dog-box until it happens again.
Interviewer
A fascinating story and the allegorical similarities are probably the best explanation that we have heard.
Gatiep
It's not allegorie nothing, it's true!
Welcome to tonight's edition of Inside the Lens on BBC 4, as always we are interviewing people to see their viewpoints on the hot topics. Tonight is no different and we are taking a look at the ongoing conflict in the Middle East.
The first country we are visiting is Australia.
Interviewer
Thank you Bob, I am standing here in Brisbane with Steve, who does crocodile farming. Steve, what are your viewpoints on the ongoing conflict in the Gaza Strip?
Steve
Well, I would say that it is pretty hot up there, what with the desert and all.
Interviewer
And the conflict between Hamas and Israel?
Steve
Not so sure about that, but if it is anything like here, things can get pretty het up when it comes to grazing rights. Didn't know they had sheep, thought it was just salt lakes and sand?
Interviewer
Indeed.
Studio Bob
Not much of a viewpoint I am afraid, for a different perspective we are crossing live to America.
Interviewer
Thank you, unfortunately I have been unable to find a someone to interview, they seem to be under the influence.
Studio Bob
How is that?
Interviewer
They are acting erratic and to be honest, rather odd. Whenever we point a camera they scream 'woohoo' and disrobe.
(Woohooohoooo!)
Studio Bob
Not a single person?
Interviewer
I am a bit disconcerted, we are on a university campus, I was looking for a young voice, but so far no luck.
(Woohooohoooo!)
Switch off, switch off!
Studio Bob
When you say disrobe..?
Interviewer
I am standing with my back to the wall now to protect the broadcasting code, the ladies seems to think we are from a different kind of show, where they get money for 'flashing the tatas' as they put it.
Studio Bob
Thank you, er, lets switch to South Africa.
Interviewer
Thank you Bob, I am standing here in Cape Town on the docks and are talking to Gatiep, who runs a small fish and chip shop.
Gatiep
Is it on? Am I on Camera?
Interviewer
Yes, what are your views on the ongoing Gaza conflict?
Gatiep
Gamsa? Is he in trouble again?
Interviewer
The Gaza-Israel conflict, in the Middle East.
Gatiep
Jissus! But dey can travel! Djy see, ever since Gamsa and Israel were little boys dey was mos friends, right? But then Gamsa got mos pissed and got too loose with Israel's cherry, so then they started this thing, what you call it, sounds like feet?
Interviewer
A feud?
Gatiep
That's it, so they been going since forever, maybe standard nine. Of course when Israel then married Gamsa's sister it got worse, cause he did it out of spite, but now they got mos a kid so he is feeding two mouths.
Interviewer
I am not so sure I follow..
Gatiep
Ny man, he must work hard, but he is mos from a poor family, so he works on the same boat as Gamsa for Gamsa's dad and dey try to kill each other all the time. But then Gamsa's sis gets mad at him and den he must apologise to Israel and Israel is in the dog-box until it happens again.
Interviewer
A fascinating story and the allegorical similarities are probably the best explanation that we have heard.
Gatiep
It's not allegorie nothing, it's true!
